1. |
KATO
00:28
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2. |
The New Life
02:59
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THE NEW LIFE
yeah
I gotta go on alone
no friend beside
I gotta go on alone
no Reason for a guide
when I left my home
I gotta go on alone
I gotta go on alone
I gotta go on alone
tho I don't know the way
I gotta go on alone
as of today I gave up my jones
I gotta go on alone
I gotta go on alone
I gotta go on alone
tho I could use some help
I gotta go on alone
believe in myself and forget what I owned
I gotta go on alone
I gotta go on alone
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3. |
Bardot Hotel
03:54
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BARDOT HOTEL
when I died on the highway
and my ghost wouldn't go
I rolled like dice
rattled them bones
I was living on my looks -
not much there to sell
I checked in the only place in town
Bardot Hotel
my lucky stuff couldn't help me
even Mom let me down
I checked out of Bardot Hotel
split town
all or nothing left me with nothing at all
chump change and a handful of bills
a huge tab -
the bitterest for my collection of pills
whores maul me in the hallway like I had something to give
say "don't think about checking out
we know where you live
you ain't all that to make it to Hell
just Room 1313
Bardot Hotel"
I'm sitting here in Limbo
right between Heaven and Hell
I'm living here in Bardot
right between Heaven and Hell
Room 1313
Bardot Hotel
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4. |
The Hit
03:55
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THE HIT
this is the hit that took off my head
washed me up more alive than dead
committed me to 4 months rest in bed
made me forget the things that I said
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
this is the hit that tore me to shreds
made me cough until my throat bled
changed my light to green from red
face unafraid the things that I dread
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
this is the hit that shot me to fame
burned me like propane's blue flame
washed me down the drain
lured me with false claims - obey
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
this is the hit that made me turn green
made things seem not what they seem
made me scream for more morphine
rip back the screen exposing the dream
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
this is the hit that that put the lies to rest
listen I got something to get off my chest
see this life, it's a fuckin mess
catch me on Sunday I must confess
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
this is the hit that made me come
made me dumb, made me a bum
made me numb, banged my drum
left me with crumbs
want some?
this is the hit that did it
but it won't do me
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5. |
Mt. Purgatory
06:09
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MT. PURGATORY
what is bad?
I may never know
couldn't figure it out above
never learned below
now I do nothing but climb all day
follow the path of each and every sun ray
the path is steep and narrow here
more like a ladder - climbed on all fours -
littered with the debris of previous journeys
gear, excrement, blood
bodies frozen in strange attitudes of death
ashen skin powdered with dust -
like that of collapsed buildings
faces quizzical with incredulity
the eternal question: Why Me?
Why Me?
and many with large stones piled on top of them
so complete was their entombment
that I could barely see them
even when I was bent in half
it is said that the face of the killer
may be seen etched in his victim's eyes
so I tilted back the head of one soul
and tho I probed his eye sockets
I found nothing there
but 2 coins and a quantity of dust -
fine as the sand of an hour glass -
and that was all
and so I trudged on,
perplexed and diffident
(I am waiting
to be free of me)
Purgatory is waiting
contains an element of hope
incarceration has that promise: release
release
slow relenting
blood letting
Narcissus' pool
head swelling
forgetting
repenting - no
more
no more
more is less
gambling is legal
restaurants are closed
Purgatory is open for business
only one way in and one way out
a very small youth population
but the schools are quite good -
plenty of opportunities for education
just put one foot in front of the other
the higher you climb the farther you can see back
you can't see the end until you are nearly there
beyond 10,000 ft. conversation ceases
as the body becomes weak, so does the mind
proximity to the sun burns off old layers of skin
breath control is one secret of success
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6. |
First Night's Dream
05:20
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FIRST NIGHT"S DREAM
in the midst of my struggle and strife
I lost my job and I lost my wife
I lost the way - I even lost my life
and I'm unexpectedly happy
now that my life is through
I see it all from a different point of view
I know what I gotta do
and I'm unexpectedly happy
I'm not part of the children's crusade
my gratification has been delayed
I could be happier if I got paid
but I'm unexpectedly happy
don't take commands from the telephone
I'm much happier on my own
than running along the edge of a cone
and I'm unexpectedly happy
Satan:
"Hello, Mr. Kennedy
I see you're back for your latest adventure
you can say 'Hello' to all your friends
I knew you would make it back
so I have another mission for you
this time you must bring back the rock
Mr Kennedy Bring Back The Rock"
(body - get back)
(suffering is the hardest thing to give up)
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7. |
Time to Pay
06:16
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TIME TO PAY
Time is a tool used by humans to measure decay -
nothing more
it is neither foundation nor window nor door
it's the prison nursery in which we all are born
it's cold bars trap even our thoughts
freedom from time is unimaginable
because our bodies die -
like cheap junk they fall to pieces
but what if we were more like love:
always growing, always changing
how do we measure that?
Time is a lie
it's the use of time that helps us die
there is no past or future - only now
the dumbest animal knows this
man spends a lifetime trying to see it
meditates for centuries just to get near it -
our gift of knowledge - the bequest of Satan:
to know that all that lives must die, but not to know why
here is Man's burden and fate -
to only understand when it's already too late
this gift and the fear it generates makes us build spaces ships and bombs
monuments to potentates, burn CD Roms
sure everyone is King For A Day -
we get our 15 minutes -
then it's Time To Pay
and pay and pay for 15 years
centuries, millenniums
to get back to yesterday
for just one second - a nanosecond
for that we devoutly pray
with every fleeting moment, every stolen instant
of a busy day
a very busy day
where time flies and time stands still
until we can only stare amazed -
feel ill
the clock's hands spin
the hours we've put in
yeah, everyone's King For A Day
now it's Time To Pay
Time To Pay
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8. |
Terra Cognito
05:11
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TERRA COGNITO
been here
done this
going in circles
is why I exist
Terra Cognito
I fell from the roof of Hell
my feet yearned to penetrate the Earth
plant themselves
take root
to inform my entire body
Terra Cognito
instead the cruel laws of physics fooled me once again
these laws are the enemy of poetry
physics broke me because physics quantifies reality
but reality could be more like poetry and less like laws
reality must be this moment and nothing but this moment
and so here is one law of physics:
Pain Brings Wisdom and Wisdom - Pain
I fell from the roof of Hell
plunged like a falling angel
feet thrust into ice
frozen, immobile
the result of ego and bad judgement
vanity and the price of my notoriety
visited again by my angry teacher
and his uncalled for wisdom
a poet told me if I was to remain Earth bound
I must learn to pray
learn to pray
learn to pray
learn to pray
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9. |
Haunts of the Famous
08:19
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HAUNTS OF THE FAMOUS
I found myself in a dense overgrown woods that I could not comprehend. Not it's depth nor it's light. The trees had hollow trunks of metal anchored into concrete pads in lieu of roots. The aluminum branches were covered with trompe l'oeil leaves. There was no visual sign of life anywhere, but after a time I began to have audial hallucinations that the trees were speaking to me - perhaps calling my name. And the voices became louder and louder. And the name was not my name, but many names - a cacophony of names.
Suddenly I was not alone. Beside me stood a tall, stoop shouldered, dark complected figure - "Please, Shade, identify yourself and help me navigate this precinct of noise and gibberish!"
"I was Florentine once but they condemned me to exile and I never returned there. My mortal dust resides in Ravenna. Now, as I predicted long ago, I trudge this ledge by day to purge myself of vanity's taint, awaiting the anonymity that should be every mortal's ultimate goal. This chorus that torments you is the whip of Pride's enlightenment. These multiple sounds that overwhelm you have only one sound and meaning to those of us who dwell here: that is the sound of our own name. That is the only sound that each of us hears - our own name in endless repetition. More than 600 years I have watched the clock spin here and witnessed many humble souls advance towards Bliss while I continued to march to this familiar chorus. But so long as my name is trafficked among the living - that long and longer shall I be here; contemplating the gaudy bauble of Earthly fame and every mistruth in that trifle that I penned. The fame I once craved has become my jailer."
"I know you -"
"PLEASE. Do not speak my name. Until my name is forgotten on Earth, here I must reside."
"I would never speak your name. But I must protest that I've never found a single mistruth in your guide to these realms."
"Yet here you are mystified and lost. Still accepting Death as an end, still scrubbing at imaginary stains on your soul. As if God could be bothered with the likes of Man!"
"Please Master help me."
"This is my second time passing thru this place. The first time I was a wide-eyed corporal tourist like yourself - unenlightened - like one who having spent one rainy summer afternoon in Tucson declares to the world, 'Arizona is a wet place.'
Now I realize the universal rule applies here as elsewhere: Change Is Constant. So the boulders and flames of yesteryear have been replaced with other forms of torment. Another poet who resides here once asked 'What's in a name?' Apparently much is because it is our own names that are used to goad us towards Enlightenment.
Have you ever been so lost in intoxication that one side of your face seemed glued to the table and not one movement was possible?"
I had to admit that I had.
"Then perhaps you are also familiar with the experience of being surrounded by voices belaboring your name - some with love, some with indignation; some who truly know you, many who do not. So it is for the pilgrims here. Each suffers in like kind and like proportion to their intoxication by fame, to their former delight in hearing their own name. What you hear as a cacophony of names each of us hears as the sweet beguiling tones of our own name. At first these familiar syllables console us. Our chests swell with that delicious feeling of pride. But eventually we recognize these tones as our punishment - the very source of our imprisonment. And until that time that our names become lost to human memory - until we are forgotten by family, friend and foe - until then our souls may not advance beyond this place. No soul can be reincarnated without cleansing all of the previous life's stains - with fame perhaps the hardest to bleach.
"Master is there no guidance you can offer me?"
"Just like yourself and everyone else in this place, I was the author of my own fate. What I invented I now live. Because I believed in this fate I am now a cog in my fate's wheel. Because I predicted a long sojourn on this mountain I now suffer that destiny. To be celebrated by Man is to be locked to this earthly plane, unable to find Paradise. Jesus' 3 days on the cross have lasted more than 2000 years. The cross is a metaphor. Jesus is STILL on the cross - remembered, worshipped, misunderstood, misconstrued. By personifying Man's apprehensions and expectations He made the ultimate sacrifice: to never abide in the peace of Heaven's anonymity.
Celebrity, fame, acknowledgment - these boosts to the ego that we crave so - they are the very source of our imprisonment. Thus Satan has always dangled success and popularity in front of Man. Fame truly costs your soul. Believe it or not, you'd be vastly better off in an unmarked pauper's grave than honored with statues and speeches - a Hero never to be forgotten. This forest is filled with such souls.
I will state it simply: watch what you believe. It all comes true - all of it.
"A breath of wind - no more - is earthly fame
and now this way it blows and that way now
and as it changes quarter, changes name.
Ten centuries hence what greater fame hast thou
stripping the flesh off late,
than if thou'st died ere thou was done with 'goo goo' and 'gaga'.
Ten centuries hence -
that's a briefer tide matched with eternity
than an eye wink
to the wheeled course Heaven's tardiest sphere must ride."
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10. |
Second Night's Dream
05:41
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SECOND NIGHT'S DREAM
Mark Lindsay:
About '68 the music began to change
I remember driving from the studio to where I lived
and driving thru crowds of kids
it was like Buffalo Springfield -
"there's something happening here"
and it was true, they thought -
we thought -
we could really change things
that we could take over the country
and stop the war
but as the mood of the country changed
so the music changed
the last album I did for CBS was a thing called Collage
which I worked my butt off, man
it was my Pet Sounds or my Revolver or whatever
not equating it with those records
but it was my epic I guess
of course the record sold nothing
because it didn't sound like Paul Revere and The Raiders
and I didn't know enough to go to Clive Davis
who was the president
ands say, "okay, they didn't get it
we're making too big a jump here
we have to do another disc to educate the people
okay if they don't get that one we'll do one more
if they don't get it after 3
fine - here
here's my contract
I give up"
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11. |
Spirit Level
04:09
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SPIRIT LEVEL
you've plumbed the depths
nothing left
and no measure yields true
life seems out of balance
a general lack of common sense
appalls you
you've been at this for 40 years
put aside your morbid fears
of disfigurement
long enough to make a buck
straight enough to dig a rut
and wonder where your youth went
excessive amounts of money spent
on nothing
measure twice
cut the shit.
you think the only way out of it
is build yourself a pine box
hard knocks to your head
was it something I said or did?
get over it, kid
you thought there was no escape
put on the brakes and take a breath
you gotta figure out what's missing
stop - look - listen
smell some roses
and relax
relax
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12. |
Skeletons in the Closet
02:49
|
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SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET
skeletons in the closet
still haunting you
skeletons . . .
Sometimes I just don't know
sometimes I'm too afraid to go
sometimes it feels like heaven
sometimes it feels like hell
most times I just can't see past
myself
what doesn't kill me makes you stronger
what doesn't kill you makes me stronger
there are only five obstacles
five obstacles
merely five obstacles
five obstacles
in this path
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13. |
Waiting
01:43
|
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WAITING
I am waiting…
to be free
of me
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14. |
Opportunity Knocks
03:19
|
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OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
opportunity knocks
and it knocks again
don't be afraid to answer the door
opportunity is your friend
it comes in the morning
it comes in the night
opportunity is the kind of friend
that makes a timid soul freeze from fright
opportunity favors
an open mind
but opportunity also visits
the deaf and the blind
the thing about opportunity is
you never know what its gonna be
it might direct you straight up to Heaven
it might strand you out at sea
opportunity beckons
like a naked girl
she can keep a smile on your face
as you give her your world
she might be good
she might be bad
you're never gonna know until you reach the end
of opportunities that you have
but you should always take the chance
when opportunity comes your way
it's the chances that you didn't take
that you regret at the end of the day
opportunity knocks
so don't be meek
opportunity can call you
any day of the week
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15. |
Third Night's Dream
05:09
|
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THIRD NIGHT'S DREAM
relax
our pursuit of the zenith
requires no trail
all routes lead to the summit
inhale . . . exhale
today you will relax, you will heal
you will change, you will grow
in the first pale light of the morning
behold the pinnacle's long shadow
breathe/believe
perceive/achieve
the paths not taken lose their importance
sunrise obliterates the last of night
as we approach the end, a sense of calm acceptance
we move toward the light
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16. |
Look in the Mirror
07:41
|
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LOOK IN THE MIRROR
you've made amends to lovers
and bid your friends adieu
there's just one left to love now
last one left to love is you
you're justly proud of each change you've made
and all that you've been through
the sun rises on a brand new day
you look in the mirror
at you
no one to lead or follow
no guru
in front of you is Heaven
what will you do?
complete, upright and free
to start your journey anew
I crown and mitre you King
Lord of all you view
all your fears are forgotten
they've lost their grip on you
you've searched for a Path and a Master
now you look in the mirror at you
no one to lead or follow
no guru
in front of you is Heaven
what will you do?
(oh happy day)
and so you're forgiven
for cutting us in 2
you used to be a stranger
now I look in the mirror at you
you've reached the top of the mountain
one more gate to walk through
you look in the mirror at me
I look in the mirror at you
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